Author: JSW
When: Saturday 29th June 2014
Distance: 65.58 miles
Total ascent: 7835 feet
Attendees: Café Racers – Dom, Adam,
Si, Jamie. GARFELTIZED – Josh, Rich, Tony
Climb points from the Toughest Climbs
Book 1 (Old Testament) & Book 2 (New Testament): 30.
Planned several months ago, the dreams
riders signing on to this event had was of minimal wind, a dry day
and warm but not too warm conditions. This day was proof that
sometimes dreams really do come true! As the riders came from the 4
corners of the North East to meet in Wolsingham at the Number 10 Café
there was almost an early ride casualty. Adam forgetting his shoes.
A quick return trip whilst the riders steeled themselves with coffees
and the team were ready to tackle the North Pennines “Hell of the
North” challenge.
A ride with legendary status, your
reporter (Josh Wood) tried to track down some quotes from the pro
peleton regarding this route and I think you'll agree, the following
quotes speak volumes:
Mark Cavendish - “Who are you and
what are you doing in my house?!”.
Dave Brailsford - “SECURITY!!!”
A lovely 11 mile warm up
through the Valley past Stanhope took us to Westgate and the first
hill of the day (and many riders agreed the toughest). A relentless
beast which the New Testament gives 8/10 (Peat Hill / Scutterhill
Bank). Any rest at the top was short lived as riders were met with
the stomach clenching view of the next two climbs awaiting them. An
arrow straight slog up 15-20% gradients followed by Chapel Fell –
the highest tarmaced and accessible road in England (9/10 Old
Testament). Before the peleton graced Chapel Fell however, the
first of two stops was had at the Chatterbox Cafe in St. John's
Chapel. A café of such excellent quality – I feel a moment must
be taken to appreciate the glory that is this café. Coffee top ups
aplenty, an owner with enthusiasm and high levels of bike psych with
some SUPERB sugary/savoury treats – what more could you ask for?!
Fears over Chapel Fell
proved upfounded as a lack of any kind of wind made it a pleasure to
ride. Team jerseys looking resplendent as the peloton snaked up the
road. The summit of which offered our first glance of the ever
imposing Death Star (Great Dunn Fell). Climb number 4 was a dream of
a gentle gradient leading to an equally superb descent. This stretch
was memorable for a display of high end bike fashion from Adam –
the unveiling of a new maroon Rapha rain cape. Worth more than most
of the teams bikes – it was a thing to behold and Adam's prayers of
rain just so he could wear it were answered. Seriously though – I
think we should all get one!
Next, to Nenthead via the
climb of Garragil and the descent of Downgang Hush (7/10, New
Testament) and the immediate ascent of Killhope Cross and it's
imfamous false summits (8/10, New Testament). A glorious descent
past future day trip spot Killhope Lead Mining Museum and back to St.
John's Chapel. All the team were starting to feel heavy legged at
this point with Chairman Whelan taking the opportunity to do poo
number 2 of the trip (this café also has excellent facilities).
Several riders tucked in to delicious egg and bacon butties (some
people getting an extra slice of bacon for a small delay in
preparation!) although any pleasure in this was soon removed by the
following climbs of Well Bank and the Traverse of Doom to the top of
Scutterhill Bank. No food was spilt by the roadside thankfully as
digestive systems performed admirably. A final gentle climb back to
Stanhope saw the team complete the 'tick' of the online version of
the route. But not for these men just getting the tick – on no.
They wanted more and got it in the shape of Dolly Parton! The climb
of Unthank Bank (New Testament – 5/10) could have been transported
direct from the Alps – the best and widest switchbacks the North
East has to offer and with the background music of Dolly Parton's
'Jolene' to inspire riders up the slopes, it was just like being in a
high energy spinning class in Texas!
And that was it. 10
climbs. 30 points from the Climbs book. 14 pairs of wrecked legs.
7 heroes.
[click photo for the full gallery]
